


A General, an Archeologist and a Chaplain Walk into a Room

by justhuman



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-24
Updated: 2010-10-24
Packaged: 2017-10-12 20:58:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/129007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justhuman/pseuds/justhuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Daniel waited out DODT and DOMA, but can they survive premarital counseling?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A General, an Archeologist and a Chaplain Walk into a Room

**Author's Note:**

  * For [padfootthegrim](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=padfootthegrim).



> Don't panic. This fic takes place post-series, post-movies and into SGU, but if you've only seen the first few seasons of SG-1, it'll be fine. Here's some info about SGU.
> 
> Stuff happened and a crew of an SGC outpost was transported to the Ancient ship _Destiny_. The crew is a mix of military and civilians - the IOA is involved. _Destiny_ is really, really far away, and only contact with Earth is through the Homeworld Security Command, which Jack runs. They communicate using the Ancient communication stones - they body swap with volunteers at Homeworld Security. Canon isn't clear on the exact location of Homeworld Security, but I placed it in DC.

**A General, an Archeologist and a Chaplain Walk into a Room**

Daniel was standing in the shower, head down, back to the spray. Jack stepped in and wrapped an arm around his waist and rubbed cheek against cheek.

"What do you think you're up to, old man?"

"If I'm doing things right, making you late for work," Jack said, gently lifting Daniel's face so they could kiss. Then Jack moved his mouth along Daniel's jaw to the prize of his throat.

With a gentle moan, Daniel said, "You're just trying to steal my hot water, and didn't I wear you out last night?"

"Who's the one that looks worn out this morning? " Jack said, as he twisted around and turned on the faucet on the opposite wall. It started the flow of water from the second showerhead. The two streams met in the middle over here their bodies. For a moment, Jack held his breath as the cold water hit his back, which he used to shield Daniel from the spray. Then as the water warmed up, he relaxed chest-to-chest against Daniel.

"There's another shower," Daniel said, frowning at it curiously.

"Yeah, this place came with the fancy shower, built for two. You haven't noticed it?"

Daniel shook his head.

"You do know that this is your apartment, and you've been living hear for over five years? Also, we did this last time I flew in from DC." Jack slid both arms around Daniel, gently rocking their bodies in the water.

"That was six weeks ago. Besides, it's morning," Daniel said as if this negated any counter argument. "If you're going to be awake and therefore evil in the morning, this whole married thing isn't going to work out."

"Nope. You said yes, so you're stuck with me."

"If you loved me, you'd make me coffee."

"I did make you coffee. I've been up for a while," Jack said, running his hand over Daniel's ass.

Pushing in closer, Daniel said, "I hate you for being awake in the morning, and if you _really_ loved me, you'd have brought me coffee."

"In the shower?"

"You're underestimating my determination and juggling skills." Daniel slid an arm around Jack and rested his head on his partner's shoulder.

"You can juggle? I was counting on you to drop the soap."

Daniel lifted his head and looked at Jack. Jack wiggled his eyebrows. Daniel said, "We'd be late. Besides, you don't like doing that in the shower - differences in height."

"No I don't." Jack backed Daniel against the tiled wall, now warmed from the steamy water. He slid his fingertips up Daniel's thigh and then down his cock.

"Oh, this you like."

"I do," Jack said, kissing Daniel. There was no resistance as Jack slowly slid his tongue past Daniel's lips. He took his time exploring familiar territory, stirring Daniel into wakefulness in more than one way.

Even without caffeine, Daniel's hands began to move, stroking Jack's back and the curves of his ass before sliding between their bodies. His nails racked down Jack's chest and abdomen, working their way down until he cupped Jack's balls. Jack groaned and nipped at Daniel's lower lip with his teeth. He dragged his fingers up the length of Daniel's cock and ran his thumb over the head.

Tugging Jack closer, Daniel said, "Come on, Jack, show me how big those hands are, what you can do with those long fingers. Bet you can't do both of us."

With a short laugh, Jack pressed his cock into Daniel's and then wrapped his right hand around them both. Four fingers stroked up and down Daniel's cock while his thumb rode over his own. It wasn't a lot of pressure, not the kind that he could get on his own or Daniel's alone, but it was hot. It was like there was a feedback loop as their dicks slid side by side.

Daniel obviously wanted more, because he pulled Jack in tight and added his own hand to the mix, there was fumbling for a moment and then they synced up. "You're making me late for work, Jack. Get it in gear; I need you to stop holding out on me. Hot water's nice, but I need something to work with. Need you to spill, Jack."

Rough, sexy and demanding, Daniel's voice always went straight to Jack's cock. With the way Daniel took over, Jack had to wonder if this was his idea at all. He slid his free hand behind Daniel's neck and pulled him into a quick kiss before dropping his mouth to Daniel's throat. "Keep talking, Daniel."

"Missed you, missed you so fucking much. I hate that you're on the other side of the country. But now I've got you here, and you better pick up the pace and show me how much you missed me. Want you to fucking come, Jack."

Dutifully, Jack moved his hand faster as he mouthed Daniel's shoulder. Daniel matched his rhythm. With his free hand, Daniel reached between them, working the head of Jack's cock with his thumb and forefinger while their hands pistoned up and down both shafts.

Daniel's voice was dark and heavy in his ear. "Jack, and you're going to come for me right now. Then when I'm coming all over you, you're going to know how much I own you're ass. You're going to stop depriving me of my property and move in, so I can fuck you every morning in this shower."

"You could just- Christ, Daniel! You could just walk in and take over my place in DC, make me pay to remodel bathroom."

Jack's hips bucked, and his hands flew to either side of Daniel to brace against the tile. A whimpering sound escaped his throat as he bit down on Daniel's shoulder. Daniel's hand was wrapped firm around Jack's cock, pumping out his orgasm.

When he was spent, Daniel stroked his back for a moment and then coaxed him to raise his head. There was more than lust in Daniel's eyes. There was a hint of amusement, but it was overshadowed by pure affection. Jack kissed him, because what else could he have done?

Daniel turned them while they kissed, pressing Jack against the wall before he took a half a step back and pumped his cock, slick with Jack's come. Jack tried to find the words - any words –to encourage his partner, but before he could get anything out, Daniel's come was hitting him in the chest and stomach. Reaching out, he wrapped both arms around Daniel, cradling him through his climax.

"I've got you, never letting you go," Jack said as Daniel raked his fingers over Jack's chest, smearing his come everywhere. "You're so damn hot."

"Mmmm, I love this, being with you. You're right, by the way." They rocked gently between the sprays of the hot shower.

"I'm sorry, did you just say I was right about something?" Jack asked. "You're moving to DC?"

"Nope. I was agreeing, that being messy is so much better if you start in the shower." A rumble started in Daniel's throat and coursed through their bodies. "That's why we should live here, next to the Mountain and not in DC. I've got a better shower."

"How silly of me to think that job obligations should come before plumbing in deciding where we'll live," Jack said. "We can argue about this later, right?"

"We've got the rest of our lives to argue about it," Daniel agreed and pulled far enough back that he could kiss Jack.

After a minute or two, Jack gave Daniel's ass a light slap. "Come on, time to wash up. I'm making you late for work."

***

"Daniel Jackson. O'Neill," Teal'c said with a nod from his seat in the officer's mess. Next to him, Sam began to stand.

"Oh, at ease, Carter," Jack waved a hand at Sam as he put down his tray and slid into the seat across from her.

Daniel took the seat next to him, nodding at the table's occupants. The casual brush of arms and legs as the sat down seemed to take on a whole new meaning to Daniel. They could actually do _this_ , appear to be together, in public, in the SGC. Well not too together because it was a military installation and Daniel's workplace, but no one was going to bring anyone up on charges if Daniel's knee rested next to Jack's, so he let it.

Sam picked up her coffee mug. "Sorry we started without you, but we expected you earlier."

"Yeah," Daniel said, trying to find the polite response. "Jack came in from DC late, so we were just running a little late this morning."

"And we had fantastic sex," Jack said, shoveling a forkful of pancakes into his mouth.

Daniel squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them, both Sam and Teal'c were avoiding his gaze.

"Boy, I know when to step into a conversation," Cam Mitchell said as he pulled up a chair form another table and sat in backwards. "General, I could be wrong, but that might, and I only say might, constitute TMI."

"Go ahead, join us, Mitchell," Jack said and then inclined a head towards Daniel, "What's TMI?"

"Too much- you know what TMI is. It's what you just said, out loud." Daniel was about to go on, but he could see victory written all over Jack's face. He was being played.

"Oh, that we had great morning sex-" Jack checked his watch. "Ninety minutes ago."

"Sir," Sam said, tilting her head to the side. "I can't speak for every one, but this may be a bit more over-sharing than -"

"Look!" Jack said, putting both hands on the table. "I've got about a decade of over-sharing that I've been keeping pent up inside. I think I should get to share now that the US Military has agreed that I am not a threat to good order and discipline."

Sam blinked, Mitchell put a hand over his mouth, and Teal'c remained impassive. Daniel just sat back and smiled.

"Jack," Daniel said.

Jack raised an eyebrow at him and gave him that half-smile. Someone that didn't know Jack would possibly label it as thoughtful inquiry, but it didn't fool Daniel at all.

"Jack, on those forms we just filled out, exactly how did you respond the questions about discussing marital information?"

"Hey, I didn't give any details, like what you did -"

"Jack!"

"Forms? Questions? Is someone's quizzing you on marriage?" Cam asked. "If they are, what happens if you fail?"

Daniel could feel his natural annoyance with the military rise. "The Air Force is having us do a premarital inventory. As to what will happen if we fail… Jack, what will happen if we fail?"

Jack picked up his coffee. "We'll still get married. We'll probably end up divorced, but we'll get married."

"Life with you is so reassuring," Daniel said, picking up his own coffee.

Cam lifted a finger and got as far as 'uhm,' when Sam jumped in.

"It's not uncommon is for couples that are about to marry to do a premarital inventory. It asks some basic questions about how you communicate and what you expect out of marriage. Religious institutions have been doing it since the 1970s. The statistics say they can reduce the divorce rate."

"From what I remember from Pre-Cana, that's the Catholic version, it doesn't prevent divorce. It gets people fighting so much that they don't get married or hold off until they can agree on stuff. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I don't remember it fondly at all," Jack said.

"You're not Catholic," Daniel pointed out.

"Not exactly. My dad's family was Chicago Irish, all of them Catholic. I spent my summers with my Lutheran grandparents in Minnesota. I have to say that the Lutherans win out in the _you're going to hell_ category; whereas, the Catholics are the run away winners in the _you've got to be kidding me_ category." Jack said with a shrug. "I didn't actually take to either of them, and my time here has explained why."

"So you did the whole premarital quiz with your first marriage?" Cam asked.

Jack nodded. "Sara was Catholic, so we went that way. Although looking at the forms, they don't' seem to have changed much."

"So you two are getting married Catholic, and the Air Force gave you Catholic forms." Cam sounded confused.

"Have pigs started flying?" Daniel answered. His tone sounded harsh even to him. Then after considering the circumstances he realized it wasn't at all.

"Daniel, have a little respect," Jack said. "You keep saying things like that and the next thing you know someone will be walking through the Gate talking about porcine aerobatics." Jack frowned. "Porcine? Porcinious?"

"You were right the first time," Daniel said.

"Just keep that response handy; it will improve our marital communication immensely."

"I'll keep that in mind." Daniel glared at him in a way that he hoped would melt Jack into the floor, but it didn't seem to work. Then he turned to Cam. "We've decided to go with a civil ceremony, assuming that we can remain civil to one another. The Air Force is making us do the forms."

"I don't get it. I know bunches of people that have gotten married, and the Air Force didn't care until they started claiming dependent benefits," Cam said.

"They were probably all marrying US citizens," Sam said.

"And women," Jack added.

"Teal'c and I had to go through a version of this," Sam said.

"Because I am a foreign national," Teal'c said as he sat a little straighter.

Daniel wasn't sure why Teal'c was looking proud of that fact, but he supposed it was better that than Teal'c being offended by it and going after some official with a staff weapon.

Sam continued. "And when a member of the US Military marries someone outside the US, there are checks that are done, primarily background investigations and security checks."

"I'd have loved to have been there when the investigator tried to interview your 3rd grade math teacher," Cam said to Teal'c.

Jack stepped in. "To be fair, since I've faced this headache as a commanding officer. Sometimes you see a situation where people should think about slowing down. For instance, the eighteen-year old fresh off the farm that wants to marry someone he's known for a week. They have to ask for permission to marry and you don't exactly deny them. You just give them extra homework, like premarital counseling, to buy time and see if they come to their senses."

Daniel turned to him. "Should I assume that the person that wants us to come to our senses has at least four stars?"

"Yup, but he only wants me to come to my senses. You're a civilian and don't count." Daniel felt Jack's knee bump into his.

Daniel frowned at Teal'c and Sam. "General Landry made you two go through that when you wanted to get married?"

"It was not General Landry," Teal'c said.

Sam nodded. "It was some overblown paper pusher from the Pentagon."

Cam and Daniel both stared at Jack while Sam's eyes grew three sizes too big.

"Not that everyone from the Pentagon is an overblown paper pusher," Sam said.

"It wasn't me!" Jack said, pointing the fingers of both hands at his chest. "And most of them _are_ overblown paper pushers."

"In the end, it wasn't that painful," Sam said.

"Indeed, it afforded Samantha and I an opportunity to discuss matters that we had not considered."

"They even customized the process for our circumstances. There were prompts to discuss the dangerous nature of our missions and questions tailored to consider inter-planetary culture and customs," Sam said. "The Air Force even brought in a counselor that was read-in to the Stargate program, so we could discuss things that would otherwise be classified."

"It still sounds like a lot of work," Cam said. "You two have known each other for more than ten years."

"This is true; however, many questions of marital life do not enter into everyday conversation," Teal'c said. "For instance, who should wash the dishes?"

"Or whether the Chan-ha'dar is right for your marriage."

Daniel looked at the couple across from him and coughed into his napkin. Jack looked at him waiting for an explanation. "That would fall in the "not applicable" category for our relationship."

Jack nodded, "Because neither of us is Jaffa."

"Because neither of us has the right body parts," Daniel corrected.

"Oh," Mitchell said, "That custom."

"Which we concluded would not be necessary," Teal'c said very quickly with a wary eye on Sam.

Sam planted her elbows on the table and smugly sipped her coffee.

Daniel turned his head to look at Jack. "Our forms didn't seem anything like that."

"Well, like you said, missing the right body parts," Cam said.

"No," Daniel shook his head. "I mean there was nothing about being turned into an android or having parasites take over your brain. It seemed like you could have downloaded it off the internet."

Jack leaned back in his chair. "I hit some snags when I was arranging things, so we're going to take a different approach than Sam and Teal'c. Just a little bit different."

"Jack," Daniel said. "I once heard you describe a nuclear warhead as being a _little bit different_ than a block of C4. Exactly how different will our process be?"

"Well…"

"Jack!"

"Okay, we've got less than two weeks before we get married, right?"

"Right."

"I called the same guy that did the whole counseling thing for Carter and Teal'c. He said he was booked."

"For a Brigadier General he couldn't make the time?" Sam asked.

"It seems like you should have been able to find the time in his schedule for him, General," Cam commented.

"Well apparently he was doing work for a general with even more stars than me." Jack didn't disguise his sarcasm.

"They were hoping you'd come to your senses and were stalling you; they were stalling us," Daniel said, getting even more annoyed with the military. "So much for the Log Cabin Republicans vs. the US, ending "Don't Ask." So much for Massachusetts v. Health and Human Services, which took down DOMA."

Jack frowned and held up a hand that was no doubt intended to stay any immediate response. "Keeping in mind that I'm on your side, now, always and especially when naked, I think that General four-star is coming at our marriage from a different angle."

"Like what?" demanded Daniel.

"Like what is the press going to do when they find out that one of the first gay marriages in the US Air Force is of a three-star general that oversees a very expensive top secret military project. And that he's marrying a government contractor that was once directly supervised by said gay general. The Air Force would prefer that we, as in you and me specifically, would wait until things were more routine."

"Routine - gay marriage in the US military - hell, gay marriage anywhere in the US? It might take decades for that to happen!"

Jack sat up and smiled. "Like I said, I'm on your side. That's why we're taking an alternate path in our premarital counseling." He crunched a piece of bacon. "Instead of getting the fancy forms and the special guy, we're gonna be just like anyone else in the Air Force. I got the forms from the base chaplain over at Peterson, and he's holding marriage prep class at 1100. By the end of the day, we'll have fulfilled all the unreasonable demands."

Cam raised a finger. "Marriage prep class at Peterson Air Force Base."

"It's only an hour from here," Jack said.

"Yeah, I'm not question your ability to get to class on time. I'm just thinking that you'll have a lot of regular Air Force personnel - mechanics, cooks and their civilian significant others. Very few security clearances, at least on your level, let alone special ops experience," Cam said.

"Let alone a same-sex spouse?" Jack challenged.

"General, I was not going there. I just think you might run into problems talking openly. It's about time that the military got its head out of its ass about this, and I'm looking forward to attending the wedding," Cam said.

Jack turned to Daniel. "We invited him to the wedding? I thought we were keeping it to family."

Out of the corner of his eyes, Daniel could see Sam putting her forehead into the palm of her hand and Mitchell looking like someone had taken away his pony. "He is family, Jack. He's one of my teammates."

Jack made a face.

"Guy who saved all of our asses in Antarctica. Same guy you picked to lead SG-1."

"All right, he can come." Jack said lifting his hands in surrender.

"Thanks, sir," Cam said, not exactly sounding flattered.

"Hey, it's nothing personal," Jack said. "But these things have a way of growing out of proportion. We invite our former team members and the next thing you know it's your current team."

"We did invite his current team," Daniel said.

"We did?"

"Vala was getting an invite even if I did spend half a month convincing her that there would be no bridesmaids. It seemed natural to invite Sheppard and McKay," Daniel said.

"Inviting McKay seemed natural?" Jack asked.

"Well…" Daniel started but didn't finish, realizing Jack had a point.

"Rodney isn't that bad," Sam said.

Everyone looked at Sam.

"Once you put some alcohol into him," Sam amended.

Jack stood up. "There's going to be a lot of alcohol in all of us before that day is done. In the meantime, General Carter's got to run the SGC, Teal'c probably has to negotiate with someone, and Mitchell's got a galaxy to save. Come on, Daniel, we're going to be late."

Daniel frowned at his watch. "I think we're going to be two hours early."

"I'm sure we can find some way to put that time to good use." Jack waggled his eyebrows.

***

"I'm Chaplain Mark Grossman, welcome to this marriage preparation class. It looks like we're missing some attendees, so I'll go through the introduction while we wait for them. Like all military chaplains, I've had training to help council those outside my own religious affiliation, which is Methodist if you're curious."

"And if you're not religiously affiliated?" Daniel asked.

Grossman turned towards Daniel and blinked. "That's an excellent question, Mr. -?"

"Doctor. Dr. Daniel Jackson."

"Ah, Dr. Jackson, you were a last minute addition to this class. Welcome. As to your question, religion is only one issue that arises in marriage. As such, our forms were designed to address religion in general terms - to uncover differences of opinion that you and your future spouse may have regarding religious choices for your marriage and family life."

Grossman took a breath and went on. "We won't be discussing specific religious doctrines as a group. As I said, I can try and help couples discuss specific questions of faith, but I encourage everyone to seek out their respective clergy for their advice."

"Thank you, Chaplain," Daniel said and settled back into his desk chair. They were sitting in the type of student desks that Daniel remembered from high school and college -metal legs, plastic seat with a place for books underneath and an attached desktop. The desks were set up in a loose half-circle around the room with a total of eight couples. As bland as the room was, it was a step up from the Mountain, because there were some windows high on the walls, allowing in the light. It also opened directly on the grounds, so at least on their breaks, Daniel would be able to get some air.

Peterson Air Force Base was the home of the 21st Space Command, NORAD and unofficially, the SGC. In fact, the cover stories of most people in the SGC had them associated with the 21st Space Command. The work of NORAD and the SGC occurred in Cheyenne Mountain; about 20 miles on the other side of Colorado Springs, but both commands had "public" offices and dependent housing at Peterson along with all the other support structures that weren't part of the Mountain.

Grossman nodded and continued. "I'd also like to introduce Chaplain Lynch, who will be assisting us today when we break out into more one-on-one work." On the far end of the room, Lynch raised a hand to acknowledge the greeting and then went back to some paperwork on the desk.

"As I was just explaining, today we'll be going through the premarital inventories that I hope that you've all filled out on your own. They will be an important tool…"

As Chaplain Grossman continued to drone, Jack leaned over to Daniel and whispered in a low tone, "Why are we here?"

Daniel only half-glared at Jack, trying not to encourage him.

"…The Government of the United States has recognized that the emotional well-being of off-duty personnel can have a direct impact on job performance…"

"Ya think?" Jack commented to Daniel.

Daniel gently shook his head.

"These concerns are especially important for personnel that man critical posts, have high priority skill sets, or high security clearances."

"Doesn't sound like us at all," Jack shook his head.

Daniel scratched at the back of his neck and didn't look at Jack.

"Therefore were are undertaking this exercise to assist in the transition that you are all about to undertake. It is not only in the interest of good order and discipline, but overall morale."

Daniel snorted and then tried go cover it with a cough. Everyone turned to look at him. Jack maintained the bland but stern look that had helped him be promoted to general, but he smiled at Daniel with his eyes.

Daniel quickly offered, "I apologize. I just have allergies. Please continue."

"Dr. Jackson, you're not the first person to have doubts about this process, but my experience in this arena tells me that you and the lady next to you will obtain some insights that will hopefully lead to improved communications."

Jack was obviously fighting a smile, as Daniel turned away from him and to the first sergeant on his left. The very confused woman turned towards Daniel. Finally Jack said, "He's with me, and believe me, Chaplain, we take this process seriously."

There were several open mouths and Jack was apparently just as content to let them writhe in the wind. Frankly, so was Daniel, but he whispered to Jack. "You didn't tell him we were gay?"

"Nah," Jack whispered back.

"With you. So you're together?" Grossman asked. Daniel could tell the Chaplain was dealing with his first gay couple. At least he didn't look offended.

"Yes," Jack said. "Please, carry on."

Grossman stood a little straighter. "Yes, General. So that means our head count is correct. I just misinterpreted your e-mail, general and had the impression… Well, it doesn't matter what impression I had, because the details are now obvious, yes?"

No one said anything, but several people were pretending not to be staring at Jack and Daniel.

"Yes, that must be it," Grossman said, answering his own inquiry. "If everyone could take out their forms, we'll begin at the beginning. The first section has to do with how to choose a life partner. As I go through the questions, I'd like you to compare your answers to your fiance's. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. What we're attempting to do is open a dialog in those areas where you may have disagreements about your upcoming marriage."

There was a shuffle of bags and portfolios as everyone pulled out their forms. Daniel was glad that they were more fill-in-the blank and not bubble forms set up for No. 2 pencils. That allowed him to jot a snarky comment or two in the margins.

What he hadn't anticipated were the lengthy notes in the margins of Jack's form. It was all in Jack's scrawl, so he couldn't immediately make anything out, but Jack had actually written things. Jack never wrote anything unless he had to. Hell, now that Jack had an aide, he sometimes dictated things, so he wouldn't have to actually write them. This conveyed to Daniel a seriousness on Jack's part that Daniel hadn't poured into his own form. Suddenly, he was really hoping that he didn't piss Jack off.

Grossman said, "Undoubtedly there will be questions on which you both have very different opinions. Our process will be to go through a handful of questions and then I'll allow you and your future spouse some time to discuss your feelings on the topics. Later on in the day, we'll be breaking into smaller groups so everyone has a chance to hear opinions from outside their marriage. Please remember to be respectful, as not everyone will have the same expectations. Yes?

Grossman looked around the room. A few nodded, but most just stared back. "Yes!" he said definitively and went on. "Question 1a. There should not be a great difference in age between marriage partners. You have five choices, Strongly Agree, Somewhat Agree, Not Sure, Somewhat Disagree and Strongly Disagree."

From the other side of the room, a young sergeant had raised his hand, "Sir, what defines a great difference in age?" Grossman thought that was a very good question indeed, and started some long-winded explanation.

Daniel looked down at their papers and noted that both he and Jack had chosen 'Seriously Disagree' on the five-point sliding scale of the quiz. They smiled at each other as Jack jotted a +2 next to the question.

"Are you going to keep score?"

"Uh-huh. Two points for every thing we match exactly on and then we subtract one for every place we're apart. So if you had put down 'Somewhat Disagree' we'd have scored one and if you'd had gone off the deep end to the other side of the scale it would have been minus two."

"What happens if we get a negative score?" Daniel asked.

Jack shrugged. "I don't know, typical day for us."

Daniel was about to question if scoring was really in the spirit of the exercise, but Grossman was already reading off the second question.

"1B. A couple facing marriage should get advice from their parents regarding the new couples' hopes and plans."

Daniel had answered 'Not Sure.' Since he had lost his parents at a young age, it was an impossible thing for him to do. On his form, Jack had answered, 'Strongly Disagree.'

Jack scored them zero. "I don't want to know if you have a way of consulting with your parents."

"I put down 'Not Sure' because it's really not applicable to us. But since were' talking about it, just because we can't do doesn't mean I think it was a bad idea. Think about how much you've valued the opinions of people older than you, like General Hammond."

"Hmm," Jack looked at him thoughtfully. "Didn't consider it that way. People like Bra'tac."

Daniel shrugged. "General Hammond, Bra'tac, Oma Desala."

"Ah, now that you put it that way." Jack drew a strong line under the zero in their score column to emphasize it.

Daniel should have known better than to bring up Oma, but before he could argue further, the next question was being read.

"1c. In selecting a marriage partner an important question to ask is 'Will this marriage increase my love for God?'"

Daniel noted that they earned their two points back with matching 'Strongly Disagrees.' He pointed at the _Yeah, right!_ that he had written on his own paper. Jack pointed at the beginning of long comment on his paper.

_Is there something lower than Strongly Disagree? Seriously, those words don't even begin to describe how this kind of question is not an issue, now or ever. I mean, really? People who haven't faced -_

There was a black smudge on the paper. Daniel pointed to it with the tip of his pen.

Jack shrugged. "Redacted."

Daniel marveled for a second on how that word had become part of Jack's everyday vocabulary, but then read on.

_I mean, really? People who haven't faced XXXXXXX religious extremism actually care if getting married is going to get in the way of going to church or temple or whatever? E-mail said that this wasn't a particularly religious form. My XXX._

Daniel smiled at Jack with love in his heart.

"1d. A good way to determine the character of a prospective husband is to consider his relationship with his mother."

They had split just like they had on the other question that involved deceased parents, putting them back at zero. Daniel considered this a good sign that they weren't negative already considering how many times they'd nearly shouted down the walls of the SGC with their disagreements.

"1e. Every wife-" Grossman spun around and looked at Jack and Daniel. Jack waved like they had just met on the street. "I'm sorry, gentlemen. I hadn't taken into consideration that the forms would have - I hope that you substituted 'spouse' for the role specific words, uhm, in the places that would work."

"I did," Daniel said.

"I didn't," Jack said. "And hello, '1e. Every wife should be trained in some business whereby, if necessary, she could earn a living.' I mean what century are we living in? First Sergeant Ashton, what do you do for a living?"

The woman who had been mistaken for Daniel's fiancee sat a little straighter. "Sir, I support the mission of NORAD as a specialist in data analysis, sir."

"Which means you're in charge of making sure that no one bombs us. Grossman, do you think it's fair to ask her something like that?"

"Sir, as I tried to explain, everyone has different expectations. This question would normally reveal if the couple has differing views on a woman's role in the family."

Ashton frowned at her fiance's form. "What's the 'Strongly Disagree' about?"

"It doesn't mean anything. I was just trying to say that if a woman wanted to be a full time mom, that would be good too," he said.

"How fast were you planning on having kids?" she demanded.

"Wait!" Grossman shouted so loudly that Daniel felt himself leaning back.

Grossman glanced around the room and to Daniel, didn't seem entirely confident in the situation. "I - " he took a breath and got his minister demeanor back. "I apologize to everyone for shouting. General, again, I'd like to apologize for not thinking ahead to give you and Dr. Jackson a questionnaire better geared to your relationship. But I have to ask you to consider that not everyone in the room will have your expectations for marriage. That there will be couples across the entire spectrum expecting more traditional or more modern gender roles."

Jack was looking at Daniel, seeking advice. Daniel cleared his throat. "For the record, I think that question should be rephrased from wife to both spouses or my spouse. However, I've had some experience with this before. I'm a widower. I had met my wife in -" Daniel cleared his throat. "In as remote a place as you can imagine. The important point is that her village had very specific gender roles that I was expected to adopt in order to marry her and live in the village. That's probably not the compromise I would have struck, if I had met her in Colorado Springs, but I understand what you're saying about different expectations."

Jack pursed his lips for a second and nodded. "Sorry." And then under his breath added, "I guess."

With a small sigh of relief, Grossman turned back towards the rest of the room. "This discussion has illustrated why this process is a valuable tool. The General and Dr. Jackson obviously had a similar same response to the question. Sergeant Ashton and Mr. Worth have opened up a topic that probably needs more discussion. Yes?"

Heads nodded around the room and Grossman let out another sigh. "Good, then we can move on unless there are any questions?" A hand shot up on the other side of the room and the reverend pointed at one of the civilian women. "Yes! Miss…"

"Gloria Ross," she replied. Then she looked passed Grossman right at Daniel and asked, "You were married to a woman?"

Daniel didn't care for the total disbelief in the woman's voice, but it wasn't like it was the first time his bisexuality was questioned. Hell, he'd been questioned more by homosexuals than heterosexuals.

Grossman's mouth was hanging open.

Daniel ignored him. "Yes, I was. I went to -" He caught himself before he said 'another planet.' "I met an amazingly intelligent and brave woman, and fell immediately in love." It still made his heart ache to talk about Sha're but at least the raw burning pain that he had felt for years had faded. Perhaps it wasn't strange, that it faded more as Jack gently stroked Daniel's arm with his hand.

Jack nodded. "You sure did; I was there." This was usually the place where Jack would insert a joke about Daniel's fumbled honeymoon, but not today. The room was staring at them again. Hell, it wasn't like the average person saw gay people on TV, let alone physically expressing affection in a public place. Let 'em get used to it, Daniel thought.

"Dr. Jackson, I'm sorry for your loss. If I can ask, how long has she been gone?"

"About nine years."

"You still miss her that much?" asked an airman from the middle of the room.

Before Daniel could say anything, Jack squeezed Daniel's arm, shook his head and gave a short laugh. "Most of you look pretty young. How many of you are getting married for the first time?"

All but one person raised his or her hand.

"Right," Jack said. "Unless your one of those crazy celebrities that stay married for twenty-four hours at a shot, marriage kinda sticks with you. I've been divorced for over eleven years, and I still think about my ex-wife sometimes."

"You were married too?" a new voice exclaimed.

Jack's shoulders pulled up around his ears as he extended his hands, Grossman finally found his voice. "Everyone, please. There are aspects of your relationships that you will want to share with the group, but let's refrain from quizzing one another. General and Dr. Jackson, I have to apologize to you once again. I should have provided you with questions designed for couples that are re-marrying."

"We'll manage," Daniel said.

Grossman looked to the back of the room where another pair of couples was coming in. "Everyone, these are the Pulaskis and Lincolns. Combined, they have been married for over forty years. They have graciously agreed to share their stories of how they've reached compromises and how they've learned to work with differing expectations over their many years."

Grossman looked to the paper with the list of questions and then to the room. "Usually the Pulaskis and Lincolns will listen to us review the questionnaires before we break into groups, but since we've been having a lively discussion about the questions today, maybe we should move straight into groups, yes?"

Clapping his hand, Grossman said an emphatic, "Yes! I'd like to break into two discussion groups. If we could have brides on one side and grooms-" As he said the words, Grossman caught sight of Jack and Daniel again. He dragged his hand over his face.

***

There was some initial confusion and some explaining to the newcomers about why there was confusion. Finally Grossman took the bride from one couple and the groom from the next so that the two groups only had half of each couple. Normally the Pulaski's and Lincolns would have split along gender lines too, so there was some more confusion as Mrs. Lincoln and Major Pulaski joined Jack's group and their partners landed with Daniel's group.

Then there was some silence, because neither the Major nor the Mrs. knew were to start with a mixed gender group. Finally Grossman tossed out a conversation starter that got the ball rolling.

Not that Jack would have chosen to be there, but it wasn't so bad. As the topic rolled through things like holidays with the in-laws and going to bed angry, they even welcomed Jack's comments about how he and Sara had handled those kinds of things. Hell, even Grossman was looking more relaxed.

"Uhm, General?" Jack looked to his right where Airman Newburgh was looking nervous.

"Yeah."

"It's been great hearing the successful strategies that you, the Lincolns and the Pulaski's have used. And, I know were not supposed to quiz, but…"

"Newburgh, just ask," Jack said, rubbing his eyes.

"What didn't work? I mean you got divorced."

There was a rush in Jack's head as events flooded back to him. Saying he was divorced was one thing, but looking back at the cause ripped into him like a knife, reopening a wound that should have had a tougher scar after all these years.

Sergeant Driscoll asked, "Was it because you were gay and married to a woman?"

Jack could only look at him, because nothing was coming out of his mouth. The room was suddenly a lot quieter because the group on the other side of the room had stopped talking too. Finally Jack found his voice. "You want to know why I got divorced?"

Grossman stepped up, "General O'Neill, you don't have to discuss that."

Newburgh and Driscoll were both apologizing, and then Daniel was standing behind him. He leaned down and whispered in Jack's ear. "You don't have to, Jack."

When Jack looked up, he saw all the strength and power in Daniel's eyes that had always been there. Then he took in a breath. "Yeah, I do. Chaplain, I noticed something about your forms. It's got parts talking about how to deal with long deployments and all sorts of other things that the military makes dependents go through. It doesn't have a section talking about things like weapons kept at home."

Grossman was stymied. Daniel's hand on Jack's shoulder became firmer.

Driscoll opened his mouth again and Jack waved a hand before could ask whatever he was going to ask. "I had retired at one point in my career. I was home with my wife and my eight-year-old son, Charlie." He had to pause and pull in a breath to push the emotions back down.

Before he lost his nerve, Jack went on. "Everything was fine and damn near perfect. One day Charlie found my service revolver and-" All the air had gone out of Jack's lungs for a second, but Daniel was with him, grounding him. "And he accidentally shot himself."

Now Jack had the attention of the entire room and he really wished they would go away and leave him with Daniel. Then he really looked at the room and saw all the young couples with pie in the sky dreams and knew that he shouldn't have sent them crashing back to earth.

"Sorry, Grossman," Jack said and stood up. "This communication thing that we've been talking about; my wife and I didn't do that for a while. Then when she was ready to try, I had no idea how to anymore. I think we're just going to-"

Jack led the way out the door, sliding on his cover as the stepped out into the too bright sunshine.

From behind him, Jack could hear Daniel shooing Grossman back into the building with the main group. Just as quickly, Daniel moved back to his side.

"Jack, are you okay?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good," Jack said

"No you're not," Daniel snapped.

"What!" It was completely amazing to Jack how Daniel did that. Reasonable, sane and intelligent in one sentence and a complete pain in the ass the next.

"Jack!"

"Daniel!"

"I know how hard it is for you to talk about Charlie." There was something aggressive yet sympathetic in Daniel's tone. Jack wasn't sure what to do with it, but decided to try and calm down anyway.

"I think I've made considerable progress on my ability to talk on this topic compared to the first time we talked about it."

"Well, _yes,_ " Daniel said. "There weren't a lot of directions to go from there except up, Jack."

Jack scratched at the back of his head as he paced around. "Ye-ah." Then he stopped and pointed at the door. "They're damn nosy in there. Or, maybe I do over-share."

Daniel looked at the door and then Jack. "They're just the first ones that'll be curious about us."

"I see what you're saying but could you not go there right now?"

"Why?

"Because I might have to admit that someone in the Pentagon was using his brain and had a point. You know, someone besides me."

Daniel sat on the wall of a planter bed lining the walk and smiled at Jack. "So what do we do to make this work?"

What should they do? Jack paused to think about it. Then he started pacing again. "I have no idea. Well, that's not true, but my ideas are not very practical and that's coming from me."

"Then we're doomed because I come up with even more impractical ideas than you do," Daniel said.

"Yes you do, and I've had the headaches over every last one of them to prove it."

"Only the ones that you argued with me over."

"So what you're saying is that the key to communication between us is that I should just agree with you," Jack said with a smile.

"Yes, just like I should just assume you're right," Daniel said with a laugh. "No, you shouldn't just agree with me; I actually count on you to argue with me. It makes things more interesting."

"I want to be married to you. You know that whole thing in there, when you were touching me in front of other people? I _like_ that." Jack willed some of the tension leave his body. "Overall, I pretty much like you."

Daniel had poked his tongue between his lips and then pulled it back in, closing his mouth tight. Jack could see that he was fighting a smile and that was good, because there had been enough drama in he room.

"Like me," Daniel said slowly. "That's good, Jack. You know, with the whole marriage thing. Most days I like you, when you're not being an overbearing part of the military machine. There are some days when I think that I might love you. But, you know, it's only a might."

Jack sat down next to Daniel, shaking his head. "Nope."

"Nope?"

"It's not love. You're just being overwhelmed by my astonishingly good looks or maybe it's gas from eating at the mess or something."

Daniel nodded. "Gastrointestinal issues from the mess are a strong possibility."

"Are we really ready to do this?" Jack asked. "I mean those people are just the top of the iceberg. Four-star was right about what the media; they're going to hound us."

Daniel face and body language said that he was trying to solve a puzzle. The problem as that he was looking at Jack.

"We talked about all that when we decided we were going to get married. Yes, there's a reasonably high probability that the press may decide we're interesting. But the media has the attention span of a two-year-old and it wouldn't last long. Hell, we spend so much time in secure facilities that they'd probably become bored trying to stalk us. Jack, you're the one that was saying that."

"Okay yes, and I still think that's a valid assessment. I didn't think every random person that we ran into would be questioning us." Jack pointed at the door.

"Not that I think it was good in there, but they're not exactly a random crowd since they were here to talk about marriage just like us. Jack, what's eating you?"

"Look at us, out here. We didn't even last in there long enough to get to the part of the questionnaire that we _were_ going to argue about."

"There were some good disagreements in there," Daniel said.

"Where we're going to live?"

"Whose career we'd be willing to move for? Are those the things that are bugging you?"

Jack wasn't sure he wanted to answer that yet, so he asked, "Did you put anything in the section about the in-laws, not that either of us has in-laws?"

Daniel looked him for a second or two and then said, "Kind of - I used Sam and Teal'c as our in-laws and Mitchell as my brother."

"You're not related to him," Jack said.

"We're not related to Sam or Teal'c either, if you want to be technical. What is your problem with Mitchell?"

"I don't have a problem with Mitchell."

"Then why isn't he family like Sam and Teal'c?"

"Well maybe I didn't have a problem with him when we had our last career disagreement. You know, when I was going to DC and you were going on assignment-" Jack paused. They should be having this kind of conversation in the Mountain. "When you were going far, far away. When we were trying to pretend that this thing we have was a fine thing when were living in the same state, but would fade when we were apart."

"Nothing faded," Daniel said and then he screwed up his entire face. "What does that have to do with Mitchell?"

Jack held out both arms, indicating how obvious the issue was. "Instead of going far, far away you ended up traipsing into the unknown with Mitchell and his team - you know, what you used to do with _me_ until the powers that be decided that I'd had gotten old enough to promote me out of field work."

"First off, it's not my fault that I didn't go far, far away. It was Vala's fault."

"No, it-" Jack did a quick fact check in his head and then nodded. "Yes, it was."

"She's not a relative, by the way" Daniel said, and then he turned, facing Jack, and Jack could see a light bulb go off over Daniel's head.. "You're jealous of Mitchell? Now that's insane."

It was a dimwitted light bulb. "I'm not." Jack said.

Mitchell was a damn good officer and an excellent team leader. Jack never even thought twice about giving him the hard missions and knowing they would get done. He'd piss off the right people and charm the rest…

Jack had a vision of Mitchell's team. Sheppard was pointing a weapon at anything that moved, while McKay was typing into a laptop and Vala was swindling the nearest underworld character. Then there was Mitchell looking heroic and even though Daniel wasn't an official part of that team, he was standing next to Mitchell, pointing the way.

It wasn't like a light bulb went off over Jack's head, more like a fluorescent light buzzed to life. "Maybe I am a little jealous."

"I don't go far-far away with Mitchell anymore. The band broke up, again," Daniel said.

"Band?"

Daniel waved his hand. "It's a Mitchell thing."

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better," Jack said.

"Jack, do you really think that I'm interested in Mitchell?"

Jack thought about it a second and that wasn't it. He scuffed his heel against the sidewalk. "No, I don't, but it was a good distraction from going back in there."

"Jack, we are not the only ones that think this is a good idea," Daniel said.

"For what it's worth, I think you two have a shot."

Jack and Daniel looked up simultaneously.

"I'd apologize for eavesdropping, but it's kind of my job. Chaplain Lynch, if you don't recall from the introduction."

Jack had forgotten about Lynch after the introduction. He was older than Grossman and wore a Major's golden oak leaf, where Grossman had Captain's bars. Rank for Chaplains was more of an honorary than anything else, but it did reflect years on the job.

Lynch sat on the planter opposite Jack and Daniel. "I've been doing this kind of thing for years. Nowadays, I let the young guns do the group stuff, and lend a hand with the specific details."

Jack had to admit that Lynch was good. He was spinning the right words and attitude to get invited into the conversation. "You said something about us having a shot?"

Lynch nodded. "The ones that know they love each other always have a better shot than the ones that _say_ they love each other." He leaned back, studying them. "You two seem to know how to talk to one another. The only question after that is can you agree on anything. Also, it helps if you're both headed in the same general direction."

"Forgive me for being cynical, but aren't you going to hassle us over the gay marriage part of this conversation?" Daniel asked.

"Geez, Daniel!" Jack wondered what the hell he was going on in his head.

"Jack, do you think he just noticed we're both men because I said it?"

"If I had a problem with it, I would have let you walk away. Now ask me to preside at your wedding, and I can't help you. The Presbyterians are in a tizzy, trying to decide what to do, so my hands are tied. I just think that if people are going to get married they should try to stay that way," Lynch said.

"That's an excellent plan, barring all the MIA scenarios," Jack glared at Daniel, who glared right back. You know, there were no MIA or POW questions on that questionnaire either."

"General, this apparently will surprise you, but most people getting married, tend to focus on the happily ever after part, instead of writing wills," Lynch said.

"Hey, Daniel, there's a surprise. I'm the one that seems to focus on death more. Why do you suppose that is?" Jack said, letting the sarcasm flow free.

"Jack, I think I know where you are going with this. Do you want an official mourning period so you know when it's okay to move on?" Daniel asked.

Lynch held up a hand. "Gentlemen, I think maybe-"

Daniel interrupted, "Chaplain, I can see where you may think this is extreme, but we've both been MIA before. I've been presumed dead more than my fair share of times."

"What does that mean?" Lynch asked.

"Half-a-dozen times!" Jack answered.

"I think it was only five times," Daniel said.

"Daniel!"

"Okay, okay, it was too many times and that's the point."

"No, that's not the point," Jack insisted.

"Then what is the point?" Daniel shouted.

"My point is that I don't want to have to bury you," Jack said.

"Wait a minute," Daniel said and he lifted that finger in the air that made him look like a professor. To Jack it always carried a know-it-all air and Jack really didn't like when it was directed at him.

"You've got a problem with it being dangerous work, but it's all we did for the better part of a decade. You also seem to have reservations about Mitchell, but you tell me it's not jealousy. Since I spend some time with Mitchell's team, are you telling me that you don't think I'm safe enough? You're not active in the field, so I can't be active in the field?"

Wrong and Jack was just about to tell him that. He just ran the facts through his head. Then he cursed himself internally, because Daniel was right. Ready to take his lumps, he let out a breath and said, "I am aware that it makes me a complete hypocrite, but yes. I'd love for you to come home every night, wherever home might be. Do you have any advice on this one, Lynch?"

Lynch had pulled out a paperback book and was reading. "Nope you two are doing just fine."

Both of them frowned simultaneously at the chaplain and then at each other.

Daniel scratched at the back of his head. "Now that I'm not on a regular team rotation, I don't spend as much time in the field. I just - How can _you_ even ask me to stop?"

"Because I'm completely selfish and even if you can handle a few more years with a long distance relationship, I don't want to. As you know, I had my reservations about leaving the field. Most of the time when they put another pile of paper in front of me, all I want to do is trade my pen in for an assault weapon."

Jack looked straight up, squinting into the sun and stretching I throat. Then he looked back at Daniel. "I don't know when it happened, but I found out that I like sleeping in a bed every night. It's not so bad to have dinner at home, and I don't want to do it alone anymore. Just think back a couple of hours. When we got up this morning-"

"Jack, we shouldn't be making life decisions based on whether we woke up horny or not."

"Could you not talk about sex in front of the chaplain?" Jack shouted.

Lynch didn't look at them, but chimed in. "The Chaplain's married, and he thinks that a good sex life doesn't hurt anything."

Daniel went on, as if he hadn't heard Lynch. "You were just saying-"

"That I want to wake up every morning next to you whether or not our dicks will ever get up again," Jack said. He watched as Daniel moved his finger in the air, doing some kind of accounting.

"Are we still talking about field work?"

"I'm talking about where are we going to live. So I'm proposing that you come to live with me in DC - or we can move to the suburbs so you can be near a secure facility to do that work thing that you do. You know, the work that you do outside the field that keeps you locked in the Mountain to all hours of the night."

Even as Jack said the words, he knew they sounded like some crazy kind of dream. "Look, I know that you'll have to come back to the Mountain periodically and that field duty happens. But-" Jack was on his feet, pacing off nervous energy.

"What about you retiring and moving back to Colorado?" Daniel asked.

It wasn't an attack, but an option, so Jack took it that way. "I always thought about retiring in Minnesota full time."

"No."

"You love going fishing with me at the cabin," Jack said.

"Jack, no one but you loves fishing at the cabin. I love spending time with you there. I mean that, but there is no way in hell that I'm live in the cabin year-round. It barely has cell phone reception, let alone neighbors."

"The lack of neighbors is a huge advantage, and we do have satellite TV."

"Jack!" Daniel shouted and then he moved in his seat, like he couldn't decide whether to get up or not. "Jack," he said more calmly. "Let's think about compromising. For instance, we both love Chicago. Why don't we think about retiring there? I wouldn't go stir crazy, and we'd only be a day's drive from the cabin. We could visit."

Jack thought about it for a minute. It was a good plan and the only disappointing part was that he hadn't thought of it first. "Can I get season tickets for the Cubs?"

"Only if you don't drag me to every game," Daniel said.

"Sold," Jack said. "Now that we know where we're going to retire, what are we going to live in the meantime?"

"I was serious, couldn't you do your thing from the Mountain?"

"I represent the Mountain to all those other people in Washington that keep trying to cut its budget. And then there's that project I'm practically running out of my office. In fact, it's in the reception area of my office - the one that's taking place far, far, _far_ away. Trying to change the long distance plan would be rough. It's more involved than banging a couple of stones together." Jack said.

He hoped that Daniel would recognize that he couldn't disrupt communications with the team on the Ancient ship _Destiny_. Having a secure place where people using the Ancient communication stones could have immediate access to the IOA and command was critical.

"True," Daniel said and then his face became thoughtful. "Just clarifying. Jack, that project you were just talking about. It's the one with the things, right?"

Jack blinked. " _Things?_ I could say yes, but how can I be sure we're talking about the same things?"

"You know, the things," Daniel said, extending his hand as if he were holding something.

"I could take a walk, gentlemen if you need to talk about things above my clearance," Lynch offered.

Jack looked Daniel up and down. "Nah, we're talking about the same things."

"Jack, what if I worked on that project? I mean the things, lead to other _things_ that are right up my alley," Daniel said. "I know first hand that it's not without its risks, because there was that time with Vala. Overall as far as risk goes, it's a walk in the park."

For a second, Jack was trying to piece it together and then in his head and then he saw Daniel exploring the _Destiny_ from the safety of Jack's outer office. "You'd do that? You'd move to DC to do that? We should do that!" There'd be a hell of a long talk about what the person borrowing Daniel's body with the Ancient communications stones would be allowed to do, but this was workable.

"Then we have a place to live," Daniel said.

"We do," Jack agreed. "Now we have to suck it up and go back in there to get whatever damn certificate they give, so we can get married."

Lynch pulled a folded piece of paper from his book, "No you don't."

"You're trying to spare us the nosy inquiries?" Daniel asked.

"If I let you back in there, I give it five minutes before one of you changes the subject to disability, dismemberment and/or death. I'm trying to spare Grossman," Lynch said.

"That's very kind of you," Jack said as he took a few steps forward and reached for the paper that Lynch suddenly pulled back.

"Not so fast. You dealt with your thoughts on social pressures, careers, leisure time, and religion, such as it is. We still have at least one hard to discuss topic to cover.

"Finances," Daniel guessed on the heels of Jack's guess of, "Which way to put the toilet paper roll on."

"Toilet paper? Jack, really?"

"It's symbolic of how we'd like the house to be run."

"Oh, household issues like not leaving take out Chinese in the refrigerator for a month," Daniel said.

"Or leaving dirty socks on the floor, ever," Jack countered.

"Gentlemen, I have confidence that you have the skills to tackle those tough situations," Lynch said. "Let's move onto a topic that always manages to cause a ruckus. Have you given any thought to birth control?"

*** Six Months Later ***

There was a single knock on Jack's office door to which Jack automatically answered, "Come."

"I was told to report to you, sir."

Jack looked up from his paperwork and Daniel was standing at attention in front of him. Correction. It was Daniel's body, but it contained the consciousness of one of the crewmembers from _Destiny_.

"Name." In a fluid motion, Jack spun in his chair, snatched a framed photo off his desk and got to his feet.

"Airman Darren Becker, sir!"

"At ease, Airman. Do you know whose body you're in?"

Becker gracefully moved from attention, spreading his feet and tucking his hands behind his back. "Dr. Daniel Jackson, sir."

"Take a look at this." Jack pushed the photo forward, forcing Becker to grab it in Daniel's hands.

"It looks like a wedding photo, sir."

"That's because it is," Jack said. "Left hand."

"Left hand?"

"Show me you're left hand Airman."

Daniel's hand came up and the occupant of Daniel's body studied it.

"See that ring? I put that ring on that finger just a few minutes before they took this picture," Jack said and looked fondly at the picture. He was in his dress uniform, standing next to Daniel in a tux - a fine example of them being completely different but somehow on the same page. He loved this picture.

"Uh, sir?" Pseudo-Daniel prompted.

"What?"

"You just looked distracted, sir. Could, could I put my, I mean, his hand down?"

"Oh, sure," Jack said. "I just wanted to call you in, welcome you back to Earth, Airman Becker." Jack sat on the edge of his desk. "So what were you hoping to do with my husband's body? I'm just a little curious. I want to make sure you weren't planning on skydiving and that you feed it enough coffee."

"Coffee, sir?"

"Yes, it can be problematic when he's been gone a few days and then comes back in caffeine withdrawal, because the person taking over his body has an issue with the stuff."

"I wasn't aware, sir. Maybe they should add a line under allergies on the briefing sheet."

Jack laughed, but even he knew it was a fake. "Now about those plans, Airman?"

"Well, sir, as you must know, my job functions are not in a critical area that allows me to return to Earth frequently. I was hoping to find the nearest bar and spend the next seventy-two hours there."

There were plenty of days that Jack thought they had staffed the Icarus Base and subsequently _Destiny_ with every trouble maker in the Air Force and Marine Corp, but he didn't think they were necessarily morons. "Seventy-two hours in a bar?"

Pseudo-Daniel nodded. "That is unless I happen to meet someone hot, then a break might be in order. Sir, I could definitely keep up the caffeine with some Irish coffees."

Jack opened his mouth to speak and nothing came out. He tried again with the same result.

Pseudo-Daniel laughed. He doubled-over and then stood up, throwing his head back. "You really do this! They told me you did this, but I was sure they were pulling my leg. Do you tell them a monk or a Mormon too?"

Jack squinted. "Daniel?"

"Yes, Jack," he said, spreading his hands like it should be obvious.

"How do I know you're Daniel and not some smart-ass Airman that's hankering for brig time?"

"I don't know? It's me." Any semblance of military discipline vanished from his posture as he ran his fingers over the wedding photo.

"That's enlightening." Jack turned his head sideways and gave Daniel's body the once over. The body language was … completely right. They never got the body language right. Hell, they never even tried. "It is you. What he hell, Daniel?"

Daniel walked over to Jack's desk and placed the photo right where it belonged. "When I arrived on _Destiny_ , Becker had a cold and, Jack, they don't have spare meds let alone tissues. I couldn't focus on the on my work, so I came home."

Jack cam around his desk and slid his hand into Daniel's, so he could run his thumb over the ring on Daniel's finger. "If you're trying to sell me on the idea that you don't know how to deal with a runny nose, I may have to declare you an imposter and send for security."

"I have ways of proving my identity," Daniel said, letting his voice drop an octave.

"Seduction could get you places, but wouldn't satisfy my curiosity," Jack said.

Daniel reached down, opened the bottom drawer of Jack's desk and pulled out a tissue box. Picking up a pen, he jotted, 'send more' on the side.

Jack studied it for a second. "All right, I believe that you're you. Why are you home? I'm having trouble with the idea that a runny nose is keeping you from three days alone with an Ancient databases."

Daniel sat on the edge of Jack's desk. "It's the damnest thing, Jack. Six months ago I was happy at the Mountain, ready to strap on body armor and multiple weapons on short notice. Then I go to this premarital counseling discussion and some reverend drags me and my partner through the ringer about stuff like how we felt about adoption and surrogate parenthood."

"Okay, I have to pause you here a second," Jack said. "You haven't run into any alien technology that can make a guy pregnant, have you?"

"No."

"Carry on, tell me more about your partner, he sounds like a swell guy."

"He is a swell guy. Thing was, he was feeding me this line about how he'd come out of the wild and didn't mind be domesticated. You know, waking up in a pillow top bed and eating meals that didn't come out of a pouch."

"I don't think he used the word _domesticated_." Jack shook his head.

"Never-the-less, he sold me on this marriage idea, moved me out of the Mountain and now I wake up to hot coffee and a warm body every morning. I kinda like it. So when faced with adversity-"

"A runny nose."

"You spent the last three weeks in and out of the house while you were touring military facilities. I've spent the last two months on and off _Destiny_. I missed you," Daniel said.

"You could have said that when you came in," Jack said as he reached for the phone.

"Way too easy and besides, I had to confirm that you weren't doing inappropriate things with my body while someone else was in it."

Jack rolled his eyes as he spoke into the phone. "Walter! Clear my calendar for the next three days." Jack pulled the phone from his ear and glared at it, then he put it back. "Why? What do you mean why? Who's the general here? Daniel's got a cold and I need to nurse him back to health."

"You know that I'm not the one with the cold. It was Beckman that had the cold," Daniel said.

Jack hung up the phone. "I know!" Then he took Daniel in his arms and kissed him. "I just missed you too."

~end~

 

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/catspaw_sgjd/profile)[](http://www.livejournal.com/users/catspaw_sgjd/)**catspaw_sgjd** for her quick and thoughtful beta. I did some rewriting without her, so as always, it's all my fault


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